The Life of St. Mary of Egypt
Sermon preached by Dn. Jeff Smith on Sunday, April 21st, 2024 at St. Mary Orthodox Church in Cambridge, MA
Today I would like to share with you why I love Saint Mary of Egypt. Her biography is well worth reading on this holy day before Palm Sunday, but it’s long, so I’ve managed to boil it down to a couple of pages.
The barest backbone of her story is this: St. Mary was a prostitute in Alexandria during the sixth century who joined a group of pilgrims heading to Jerusalem but found her way blocked when she tried to enter the Holy Sepulcher. After begging for forgiveness, she went out into the desert for 40+ years where she became sanctified through repentance, and finally received holy communion from a monk before she died. That’s her basic story, But I would like to dig a little deeper so that we can learn from her life.
First of all, her life story was written down by Sophronius, Patriarch of Jerusalem in the seventh century. He vouches for its authenticity, but it was originally told by an elder, Zosima just after her death on April 1, 522. It’s important to recognize that her story is told by monks living in monasteries. It’s a story told within the context of monasticism. Yes, at times, it is lascivious, but that’s kind of the point. We Orthodox are not puritans. We can see beauty in bodies and in repentance. St. Mary has both physical and spiritual beauty.
The Elder Zosima (whose name was later used by Dostoevsky for the Brothers Karamazov) is a monk’s monk from childhood, renowned for his spiritual life. Many people sought out his council. When he turned about 53 years old, he became tormented with the thought that he was perfect. He had accomplished every kind of asceticism, so no one had anything left to teach him. But an angel came and called him to venture out to a hidden Monastery on the Jordan River, where the monks could instruct him there. During the Lenten Fast all the monks went out into the desert where they could dwell with God while fasting, always singing, and eating very little food. Before Pascha, they returned, and no one asked anyone else how they had spent their time. That was their rule.
Zosima himself went further into the desert with the hope of finding someone who could satisfy his thirst and his longing for God.
While stopping to pray about 20 days into his journey, he thought he saw a devil out of the corner of his eye, and he was afraid. He saw a naked form gliding south with dark burned skin and white hair. He called out, but it fled away. Zosima ran after it and called again, “Why do you run from me, an old man and a sinner?” The form hid itself and said, “Forgive me Fr. Zosima, for I am a woman, and I am naked, just throw me your riassa so I can cover myself and ask for your blessing.” They both threw themselves on the ground asking for each other’s blessing. As Mary was praying for him, Zosima looked up and saw that she was raised about a forearms distance from the ground and stood praying in the air. So, he fell back to the ground, crying, “Lord Have Mercy on me!” He begged her to tell him her story, how she managed to live out there. But she replied, “your ears will not be able to bear the vileness of my actions, from me who was the chosen vessel of the devil. I am ashamed, but I shall make my full confession and tell you everything without hiding anything.”
So, St. Mary tells her story from the beginning by saying that she ran away from home at 12 years old where she found work in the streets of Alexandria by selling her body. She says she insatiably gave herself up to sensuality and lived like that for 17 years. She was on fire and often refused the money given to her. She wanted as many men as possible doing for free what gave her pleasure. She wasn’t rich. She lived by begging.
Now a word about this segment. First of all, Mary is a woman who knows the power of her body. She demonstrates a fierce independence throughout her life before and after her conversion, but this part of her personality is sanctified over time. It is never repressed. At first her body was transactional, but she decided what she wanted. There are no pimps or madams in this story. She guided her own path, and she was aware of her power. Her big problem was that her passions began to rule her. She clearly became an addict, but the path of healing is learning to love the parts that frighten or disgust us. Where does that trauma come from? In spite of her story of debauchery, I believe there is a certain amount of innocence even at this point in her life demonstrated by her ability to tell her story clearly and to confess it. And she demonstrates curiosity…
One day, she curiously followed a crowd running to the sea heading to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Cross. Although she had no money for her berth, she was willing to give a ride to get a ride. The young men readily took her with them. She says she seduced everyone and taught them every depravity. She becomes afraid of defiling Zosima’s ears, but he replies, ‘Carry on Sister, don’t stop now.’ (Really, it’s in the text.)
After arriving in Jerusalem, she tried to enter the church, but was stopped by some force and was brushed aside by the crowd. There is the great diaphanous barrier at the Holy Sepulcher. As much as she tries to enter, she struggles in vain. Everyone enters but her. Everyone else passed through the gate, but she alone was not accepted until she was utterly exhausted. She has a deep feeling of “Thou shalt not pass here.” She has this dreadful feeling of being left out, of being left behind. If she was a bridesmaid, her lamp was not prepared and her wick was not trimmed. This is the ultimate FOMO, and she begins to see that it was her unclean life that barred her entrance, and she begins to weep from the depths of her heart.
After this first flutter of remorse, she notices an icon of the Theotokos and cries out to the Virgin, “Help me, I have no one else to help me,” she cries! “I will never again defile my body. I will renounce the world and go wherever you tell me to go.” In a delirium, a sort of daze, she is allowed to enter the church.
After she prostrates and kisses the ground with trembling, she returned to her icon and asks the Mother of God to lead her by the hand along the path of repentance. She hears these words, “If you cross the Jordan, you will find glorious rest.” A stranger gives her money for three loaves which she takes on her journey. After heading out into the desert of the Jordan, forty-seven years pass by. For the first seventeen (the same amount of time as her prostitution), while she slowly picks away at her bread she fought wild beasts, mad desires, and passions in her mind. She missed meat and wine. She burned for thirst and felt the urge to sing satanic songs. But she returned to her remembered icon and implored the Theotokos to chase away her evil and distracting thoughts. At last, calm descended. But then her thoughts pushed her toward lust again, as she lay prostrate for days at a time, until a calm sweet light descended and chased away her thoughts, her logismoi. Then come years living on herbs, insects and locusts, like John the Baptist. She feeds on whatever she can find in the desert. She suffered greatly from the sun and the frost, from cold and from extreme heat. Though her body became naked and leathery, almost mummified, she didn’t just turn into a hag. Instead, she became luminous as she wrestled with her demons because, well, that’s what you do in the desert. That’s what Jesus did. But St. Mary followed him from the proverbial 40 days to 40 plus years. She learned nothing from books but understood the Word of God who is alive and active in the Holy Spirit. She begs Father Zosima to tell no one what he has heard until God has delivered her from this earth. “In one year,” she says, “you shall see me again. In one year, at sunset, please, bring the Holy Eucharist to the banks of the Jordan River so that I may receive. I am thirsting for the Holy Mysteries.” And then she vanishes into the desert.
A year later at the appointed time, St. Mary comes walking across the Jordan River to Fr. Zosima after he has been laid up sick. He falls down before her, but she calls out for him to get up because he is carrying the Holy Eucharist. “Bless me Father,” she cries out. When she had received the Eucharist, she cried “Lord, lettest now thy servant depart in peace according to thy word, for my eyes have seen thy salvation.” And she crossed back the way she came. The elder is filled with joy and terror, finally realizing how far from perfection he really was.
Again, one year later, he returned to his original meeting place and found the saint lying dead, her hands crossed, and her face turned to the East. Zosima cries and kisses her feet, not daring to touch anything else. For a long time, he lay there and wept. Then he saw instructions written in the ground near her head, that he was to bury her there and return her to the earth. But he was too weak. Just then, however, a gentle lion appears and begins to dig a hole beside her body.
Last week, Father Anthony called us to exchange our broken brains for hearts that are transformed. This is exactly what St. Mary did. She recognized her own sickness and her need to be healed. She followed the path of humility, obedience, and grace. She went from being a monster, and an apparition, to Zosima’s inspiration. He was utterly blown away by her. But she reminds him of his authority and his duty as a priest to bring her holy communion. She makes her first full confession. She receives holy communion, and then she dies. Thanks be to God. Patriarch Sophrony, who wrote all of this down, prayed that God would reward those who seek the light, who at different times have pleased God with their pious labor. So, now let us give glory to God the eternal King that he may grant us mercy for the sake of Jesus Christ to whom belongs all glory and honor with the Father and the life-giving Spirit now and forever and unto ages of ages. Amen.